Days I Miss You The Most

Where does this list start? Today I am on day three of a crappy cold. I remember every time I was sick in the past few years and of course since we talked every day, you knew I felt bad, and would always say “do you want me to come over there and take care of you?” I always said no but really wanted you to and could kick myself now that I didn’t let you. There are so many things I wish I had done differently. I wish I had come over every Sunday in the past instead of waiting until now to realize that this was a practice I needed to do. What was I thinking? I am so glad to have gotten to a point that Daddy and I talk on the phone daily but I can’t help but feel that no matter how wonderful it is, it’s not worth the price we had to pay for it. I found out last week that I am going to Washington, DC for a week in April and of course, I thought of you going with me when I had to go to New York last year on business. So, I called Daddy to see if he wanted to go and to my surprise, he quickly was on board. Well, now this has turned into a family affair and I think Neall is going to go with us. How fun will this be? But then, I can only think of how you would have absolutely loved to have a family vacation with the four of us as adults. I know you are so glad we are going but shit! Shit, shit, shit! You should be here with us. Why did we never do this before? Why not last year or six months ago, even before we knew you were sick? It is not that we didn’t love as much then, it is not that we didn’t know how much we loved you, but we never imagined a day that you would not be here. We never even thought we would run out of time.