My friend's dad died yesterday. So back we went to Wynne for another visitation at a funeral home. This one was at Kernodle's and I wondered how I would handle being there again after you were gone. I did better than I thought I would but still it was so emotional to see so many people hurting and thinking, yeah, it sucks. So everyone had pretty much left and the family stayed in the room and said goodbye again. After her family left, she sat in there with her husband and sobbed. We all sat in the hallway outside to give them space and I looked at her husband with that look, "you gotta get her out of here". After several more helpless moments, I just felt that I had more recent experience in this so I just went in, knelt in front of her, and told her that she had to pull it together. This was horrible and it was going to hurt like hell, but she had to get through it. She sat there and told me how she didn't understand how I was so strong. How was I so strong? I didn't think I was before but maybe I was/am. You did that for me. I saw you with grandma for so many years and only now can I understand the strength it took for you to be such a wonderful daughter. As horrible as it was for us to lose you so quickly, and so young, I know that I would have not been able to be the daughter you were to your mom if you had suffered as long as she did.
As much time as you spent at Kernodle's when you were doing the cemetary manager job, I wanted to say something to Mr. Kernodle. On the way out, I told him I was your daughter. He was so glad that I did and we talked about how much you were missed, how great you were to the cemetary, and how great Daddy was to do all the stuff he did. When we were leaving, he said he really couldn't tell who I resembled and I told him that telling me I looked like Ruth always was a good thing. Like a light bulb flipped on in his mind, he said, that's it! You look just like Ruth. Every now and then, someone would tell me I looked like Grandma Ruth and I would just melt. There is a mother's day photo that you said I looked like her and it was always so touching to me to think of that. I cannot think of any compliments that touch my soul more than thinking I look like her or remind people of you.
Afterwards, we went to my friend's mom's house and her aunt who worked with you at the school was there. We laughed at you counting down your days until you retired and the times that the kids sang "I'm Sorry Ms. Jackson" by Outkast to you. And I taught you the next lines so that you could sing it back to them. Always such a character, you were, and I love all of it about you, More,
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