Oh Emmy

What a mess you are! Every day she rolls over and then she gets mad that she is on her belly. So we roll her back over on to her back and she rolls back over to her belly and gets mad all over again. It can be quite funny sometimes to torture her! She does love her daddy though--last night she was upset and when we finally got her calmed down we put her in bed with us. When I woke up, she was facing Daddy so I placed her on her back just to make sure she didn't smother. She promptly started wimpering and then turned back over to nuzzle up to daddy. Who is this kid?

I always thought that I would be the best mom ever. Now, I just hope to make it through the day without hurting her or running off my support system. I had no idea how hard it would be to raise a child... much less raise a child without without a mother there to tell you what to do or to call to ask questions. There are things that go on that I am not sure I am doing right, like is she getting diaper rash? It is horrible not having a mom to ask about this things. I am scared more of hurting Emmy from lack of know-how than I am of anything else. I have this strong need for her know all of your friends; anyone that was close to you, I feel like she can feel your presence in them when they hold her. Maybe I am crazy but I just want you to be a part of her life and I don't know how else to do it. How am I ever going to make sure that she knows about you? And not just knows who you were but knows who you ARE. Your spirit. Oh, Momma...