Showered and Pampered

Emmy, John and I have now been properly showered and pampered. The festivities got started when Tara, Natalie and Theresa threw me a shower for some of our friends. Of course, everyone went way over board and the hostesses gave us our travel system. The next weekend, TWENTY ONE of your friends threw us a shower in Wynne. Wow. It was so exciting and everyone was so generous but I couldn't help but feel like a little snot when I was sitting there with mounds of gifts around me. It can be so overwhelming to think of so many people caring for you and wanting to help. Then, some friends at work had a shower and then Friday, my office threw a shower there! I think they threw that one in just so they could have an excuse for cake, but what do I know... :)

So, now that we are materially well prepared and ready for her arrival, Emmy is taking her own sweet time. Yesterday I went to the doctor and we are 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. So, we are back to it could be any minute or another two weeks!!! My vote is for Sunday afternoon but John thinks she will be arriving tomorrow night, I think. Oh, I cannot tell you how badly I wish you were here. So selfish of me to wish you were here for me and to help me but I can just imagine you having so much fun right now. I wish you were here to flit around the room and talk about Emmy and show her off when she does get here. I wish you were here so that I could call and ask if this weird sensation in my right side is a contraction (I am thinking it's a no if I have to ask) or just gas. I need you here to tell me to not be a wimp when I am in the pains of labor and to remind of how you did it and so can I.

37 Weeks

I am so ready to have a baby. So ready. As in, I would walk from here to Nashville if I thought it would get her here now. I am swollen and very irritable and I think I slept about 2.5 hours last night. Everyone with children chuckles and says, "oh just wait til that baby gets here then you wish you had 2.5 hours sleep" to which I say, we will deal with that then. Right now, I am growing tired of carrying a bowling ball in my underwear and I am ready for her to arrive.

Day 366

We all made it through the first year. I keep telling myself that this is going to be the worst part and if we can just get through the first year, then everything will fall into place from here on out. So, here we are a year later--we have gone through the first Easter, the first Mother's Day, the first of my birthdays, the first of your birthdays, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas and the first anniversary of your death. And we are all relatively okay. Who would have ever thought that would be so?

I want to tell you all about the baby prep work that all of your friends have done but I can't right now--it is too new and too emotional and too sweet and too touching for me right now. But you have to know that you are very loved and because you are so very loved, our little Emmy is so very spoiled and pampered already.

More,

Nothing, Nada, Zilch

Last night, John and I toured the maternity ward at the hospital. About halfway through, I started crying asking John, "what in the world have we done??" and he first replied with "Tara, please don't cry in front of all these people" followed by "Is this a bad time to remind you that this was your idea?" Yes. This would be a very bad time to tell me that. Then, I realized with sudden force that it's not that they are going to let us take her home, they are going to make us take her home.

Today I went to the doctor and there is nothing going on down there. No dilation, no effacement, nothing.

Hey, did you know we are going to have a baby???

Apparently, this is really going to happen and is not at all a farce or a possibility but a real baby is going to be born -- and I don't know anything about birthing no babies -- and then THEY are going to let her come and live with us -- like, forever. Apparently, THEY have lost THEIR collective minds.

I don't dare say that she is coming early

I am not saying that Emmy is going to come early but I will say that things are not quite what they used to be in me. I think I am having Braxton Hicks contractions but they really aren't painful--just odd sensations. I have taken waddling to a whole new dimension and there is a lot of pressure down there. Honestly, I have a small, very light bruise on the right side of my torso and I am convinced it is from the Tiniest Soccer Star making her presence known from the inside out. Wow. Wow. Wow.